I am a professional secret keeper. My official title is Licensed Professional Counselor (think mental health therapist). So I work with other people, sifting and sorting through their tangled thoughts and emotions, while maintaining confidentiality. With that being said, I am great at keeping things private. It is a necessity in my profession. Also, I have become quite skilled in operating in private/stealth mode. Sometimes out of force of habit (we do not always disclose stuff about ourselves to clients) and other times out of a need for safety (sometimes things can get intense!).
As I begin branching out into the world of academia, I am being stretched in every growth direction possible. As exciting and desired as it has been so far, I have to take deep breaths regularly, swallow hard, leap past my nerves, and recite in my head “I’m Ok. This will be ok”. The tiny, little emotional gatekeeper who lives inside me had a minor panic attack when I realized the blogging aspect of connected learning. I have a very strong feeling that this is going to change everything.
So let my confessing begin:
- I am excited for this adventure. Yes, trust me readers, it will be an adventure…even if only for me! Countless times I recommend journaling, blogging, or vlogging, to my clients, because it really can be a wonderful tool for insight. Writing/speaking out your thoughts can provide insight, allow connection of thoughts, assist in understanding of feelings, and points of view. It can be enlightening and revolutionary. Even reviewing from the past can give glimpses of how much change has occurred. I have done this, but only on a private platform. Until now.
- The thought of the exposure shocks and frightens me. While it is relatively easy for me to think about my personal and professional platforms, but generally I do so on a smaller and more private scale. Publicizing my personal thoughts and professional work, while it is still in development, causes some anxiety for me. I fear I will be in a battle in my head over the seeming exposure and decrease in privacy. I am aware that I am in control of what I say and publish on my own blog; nevertheless, it is still a very real struggle for me.
- I am very curious to see how this process will refine and develop me as an educator. By working and thinking openly, I am trying to establish myself in a connected way to my learning community. My hopes are to become a better writer, to become more comfortable with allowing my voice on a public platform, and to get started in having others become familiar with me and my work.
Now you know some of my secrets. In sharing these thoughts, feelings, hopes, and curiosities, I am putting “trust in the process”. If I had a dollar for every time I have said “trust the process” to clients, students, and myself, I could pay tuition for a bleacher full of people at Lane Stadium! In summation, I like what Doug Belshaw stated when he said “progress comes through discovery, serendipity, and joining ideas together” (http://literaci.es/working-openly-a-manifesto). So it seems that I am in for some personal and professional progress as I begin my training as a GEDI knight! Stay tuned for more updates on my journey.